A nutritionist, Mrs Patience Pama, on Monday in Kaduna advised Nigerians to include Moringa in their diet, to enhance healthy living. Pama, who works with the Ministry of Science and Technology, told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) that Moringa had anti- inflammatory properties that reduced the severity of symptoms of joint pains According to her, Moringa also reduces fungal and viral infections, kidney stones and aids healing of injuries. She said the leaves of Moringa helped relived headache and stop bleeding from a shallow cut. “Moringa has credible health benefits over a wide range of health issues,’’ she said. Pama said that Moringa contained proteins, vitamins and minerals as an antioxidant that helped to protect cells from damage. “Oil from Moringa seeds is used as foods, perfume, hair care product and machine lubricant. “It is a good source of protein, vitamins, amino acid and various phenolics and provide energy without sugar.” The nutritionist said that Moringa also reduced swelling, boost the immune system and could serve as nutritional supplement or tonic by some people. She explained that regular consumption of Moringa could also boost body immunity and would provide nourishment to the eyes and the brain. She advised Nigerians to take Moringa regularly, adding that the leaves could promote metabolism with bio-available ingredients and control blood pressure . “Moringa lowers the appearance of wrinkles and promotes the normal functioning of liver and kidney,” she said. Pama advised Nigerians to consume more Moringa to promote healthy circulation system and healthy living. (NAN)

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GOD IS GOOD AND PERFECT, NO MATTER WHÁT

A dear friend just shared this with me and I know you will be blessed reading it.

A King had a male servant who, in all circumstances always said to him; My king, do not be discouraged because
everything God does is perfect, no mistakes. One day, they went hunting and a wild animal attacked the king, the servant managed to kill the animal but couldn’t prevent his majesty from losing a finger. Furious and without showing gratitude, the King said; if God was good, I would not have been attacked and lost one finger. The servant replied, ‘despite all these things, I can only tell you that God is good and everything He does is perfect, He is never wrong’. Outraged by the response, the king ordered the arrest of his servant.

While being taken to prison, he told the king again, God is Good & Perfect. Another day, the king left alone for another hunt and was captured by savages who use human beings for sacrifice. On the altar, the savages found out that the king didn’t have one finger in place, he was released because he was considered not “complete” to be offered to the gods. On his return to the palace, he ordered the release of his servant and said; My friend, God was really good to me. I was almost killed but for lack of a single finger, I was let go. But I have a question; If God is so good, why did He allow me to put you in prison? His servant replied; My king, if I had not been put in prison, I would have gone with you, and would have been sacrificed, because I have no missing finger.

Everything God does is perfect, He is never wrong. Often we complain about life, and the negative things that happen to us, forgetting that everything happens for a purpose. God is good and perfect!!!

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PASTOR, I LOVE HIM, BUT CAN I CONTINUE?

PASTOR, I LOVE HIM, BUT CAN I CONTINUE?

It is 8 a.m. on Monday morning.

Puting the key into the key-hole of my church office door, I heard a voice behind me, ‘Good morning, Pastor’.

I had now become accustomed to that voice. It was Tola , a committed member of our church.She has just finished her weekend calls.She looks scared, tired and exhausted.

‘What could be wrong again’, I asked myself.

A senior resident with the department of Obstetrics and Gyneacology in the University Teaching Hospital, she had already told me earlier that she will be on call that weekend,so I was not surprised when I did not see her in church the sunday before. But hearing her voice that morning did nothing but surprised me because she was the last person that I expected to see in my counselling session of that day.

Turning around and sighting her, I responded with a smile,’Sister Tola, Good morning’.’Come in’.

Tola has a always been ambitious since she finished high school. Even though she went to school in a rural area, where there were no qualified teachers, except some couple of youth corp members which the government sends to the school, she made up her mind that that will not be a hinderance for her to becoming a doctor. At the age of 21, she had completed her housemanship. And that was when I knew her. Despite her busy schedule as a young doctor, she always came to church.

She lost her mother at the age of eight to complications of child birth and that made her determined that she was going to be a doctor that will help women. Tola was the first child in a polygamous family and despite the hatred and hardship experiences of her childhood , she did well in school.

‘Pastor am scared of going home’, she sobbed as she sat down in the sofa in my office. ‘I don’t feel secured with him any longer’, referring to her husband.

Still crying,’He has turned to a beast’,she said.’He beats me at every slightest provocation. I love him but I am afraid he might kill me.’

She had met this young man 4 years earlier in the church, rich and also committed. Tope was the dream man every lady would desire. An engineer, working in one of the high paying multinational oil companies in town. No one would have envisaged that the once caring and loving gentle man would change for whatever reason some few years into their marriage.

He keeps telling me that he regrets marrying me. ‘You are a man and I can’t continue living with you in this house.’ ‘ It is better you go, so that a real woman can come in and give me a baby.’

They have been married now for over four years and Tola has never conceived for once.

‘Pastor, what do I do?’ She asked.

Let us pray for God’s direction’ , I said. Apparently not satisfied with my response, she bowed her head however.

After the prayers, I wanted to console her and tell her to be strong and keep believing God for a miracle but it was glaring from Tola’s look that she was tired of hearing that from me. I have always been encouraging her to keep trusting God in our numerous counselling session.

Initially when the pressure started mounting on them, we had gone through the various medical options available to them during the counselling sessions with the couple . Tola had always cooperated but Tope had always insisted that there was nothing wrong with him. He claimed he once impregnated a girl when he was in his final year in university.

‘Where is the child,then?’ I asked.

‘The girl terminated the pregnancy because we were both not ready to be parents then.’ He said.

Tope had gone through all sorts of medical investigations ranging from from hormone assays to hysterosalpingram etc and none of it showed any abnormality. Even though all indicators point to Tope as the culprit in this problem, he remains the bully and the uncooperative one .

What do you think Tola should do? Should she leave Tope and start a new life with another man or should she continue to endue the abuse?

Send your response to olaobaju77@yahoo.ca and save a soul.

SEVEN THINGS HUSBANDS SECRETLY WISH THEIR WIVES WOULD DO FOR THEM.
“How to keep your man from strange women”

DEDICATION:
This article is specially dedicated to all married women who are having challenges in their marriages and those who have their grown up male children trapped by the snare of strange women.

INTRODUCTION:
Does the responsibility of keeping the home and maintaining a lifelong happy and monogamous relationship and marriage, the sole responsibility of a woman alone? No!
Why is it then that so much demand is being placed on the woman? The husband, the extended family and even the society at large blame her for the failure of her marriage.
No doubt, the success of any marriage is the joint and equal responsibility of both partners, but this write up is to highlight the role of the woman, judging from the angle and perspective of her husband- the man. The second part of this book, titled “What women secretly wish their husbands will do for them”, co- authored with my wife will address what the husbands need to do for their wives so that they can enjoy a blissful and blessed home.
Seeing with the eyes of your spouse. Until we begin to see things with the eyes of our partners, it may be difficult to know the reasons why they do what they do.
Your husband has expectations which always ought to be communicated but sometime is not due to so many reasons. In marriage, partners expectations are suppose to be communicated to one another. Lack of communication has always been a source of rift in marriage. Therefore, we encourage communication between partners, but this write-up is to reveal to the women some of the secret expectations of their husbands which they may not have known before and is not communicated to her.
You will definitely enjoy your life, family and husband as you do what your husband expects from you (under God) as highlighted in this book. Cast aside every blame and do your part in making your marriage a success.
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. I Pet. 3:1(NIV).
Remember that behind every successful man, is always a diligent, committed and responsible woman. You will succeed in your marriage.
PRAYER:
(1) May the Holy Ghost empower you to discern when strange women want to attack your family Amen.
(2) Receive wisdom to know what to do at every point in time in your marriage in Jesus name.

CHAPTER ONE
The strange women:
From time immemorial, there has always been strange women whose sole ambition is to take away other women’s husband. They dress seductively exposing their cleavages,boobs, butts and other sensitive part of their bodies so as to attract men.
Unfortunately, many married women through their actions and inaction have pushed their men away to all these strange women by themselves. These has made them to completely lose their husbands to these DAUGHTHERS OF JEZEBEL
The reason many of these strange women succeed is because some of the fundamentals which will be highlighted in this write up are missing in the lives of these women .
Who is a strange woman? Proverb 7:5-end aptly describes who a strange women is. She is a women whose primary ambition is to turn the heart of the man away, first from God, and then from his wife and his children. The Hebrew word “ZAR” translated strange means primarily one who has turn aside, to visit another country. A strange woman is a woman who has primarily turn aside from her primary role as a godly woman. They have given themselves up to the evil one to be instruments (baits) to catch men and draw them to hell.
Strange women do not target married men alone they also want godly single men (bachelors) not to build godly home and marriages with them, but with the sole intent of pushing such men away from God and into hell.
(Read Prov. 2:16-19). A strange woman can go any length to ruin the man. They use soothing and smooth words of seductions and deception, money, material and even the promise of marriage and marriage itself. The ultimate aim of the strange woman is to kill the man until he goes to hell (Read Prov.7:7-21 and 5:3-6)
Prov. 7:23,26-27 Until an arrow pierces his entrails like a bird rushing into the snare, but he does not know that it is for his life. for many slain she had laid low and countless are all of her killings. The ways of sheol (hell) are her house descending to chambers of death.

Proverbs 5:3-6 For the lips of a loose woman drip honey as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged and devouring sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold of Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead). She loses sight of and walks not in the path of life; her ways wind about aimlessly, and you cannot know them.
A strange woman may be a woman physically, but she is controlled by demons from hell and she will go any length to accomplish her missions and the desires of her master, The Devil.
You do not have to allow them to succeed in taking your husband or male children away for the following reasons”
1. Should these strange women succeed, you become the looser. When Delilah succeeded in taking down Samson, his parents, family and the nation of Israel lost a son of destiny, they lost their deliverer.
2. You become a widow and your children become orphans.
3. You loose your covering as a woman if you allow the strange women to take over your home. Spiritually your husband serves as a shield or covering over you and your children. His absence automatically exposes you. You alone have the right to protect your head and covering because if you don’t nobody else will do it for you (I Cor. 11:3).

There is an antiseptic advertorial running on our local Television channel where a child of about 8-10 years was involved in an accident while playing on the field and he sustained some minor injury. He ran back to where his mother was and she used the antiseptic to clean his wounds. The boy appreciated his mum when she was done and she in turn looked to the camera and said “if I don’t take care of him, who will?”

Woman, if you don’t defend and fight for what’s yours who else will do it for you? He is your husband and nobody else’s. Whoever lays claim to him is an usurper. He belongs to you and to you alone. You cannot afford to just walk away from your marriage just because of some strange woman appearing on the scene. Outside of physical and serious emotional abuse, don’t just give up easily.
In many cultures around the world, the husband is the head of the woman. And that’s what God approves of. You must protect your own head. Your man being your spiritual head does not make you less inferior to him. It is just a matter of divine order. And by the way, you who happen to be neck exert a greater influence on the man. And so, don’t ever feel inferior to the man. You are equally important in God’s agenda for the family.
Strange women are everywhere, like the air you breathe. As ubiquitous as they are, they could even be under your own roof and you are catering and sheltering them. The strange women could be your very own housemaid, friend, or relation, your husband’s secretary or colleague at work. The least place you will expect them is in the church*, but let me tell you the truth, they are there. Be careful. Don’t lose your guard. This is not to scare you, but to make you be on the lookout. It is not to scare you, but to remind you to lovingly care for your own. Don’t push him into their hands.
*Don’t be surprise that you can find Jezebel in Church. Even Satan comes around, when God’s children gather. Job 1:6 Now there was a day when the sons of God where gathered before the Lord, and Satan came also among them.

They are there, in the eateries, play ground, on the street, in your neighborhood etc. watch out.

Now, that you know that you have a competition, let us look together at some of the things that will give you an edge over the strange woman. What does your husband secretly wish you will do for him that will give you edge over other women outside that may be seeking his attention?

Chapter TWO- PRAYERS
I wish my wife will PRAY for me.
“(Wo) Men ought always to pray and not to faint”.
Jesus Christ ( Luke 18:1)
You both need God.
The primary need of humanity is God. Irrespective of our gender, race and colour, God is the reason for our existence. Without him, we are nothing, life is ephemeral and lacking in eternal value. Therefore, woman, you must realize that the best you can do for your man is to help him know God better. And this you can do through your prayers. Marriage is like an equilateral or isosceles triangle, with the couples on the base angles of the triangle and God at the peak angle. The closer they move to the peak (God), the closer they get to each other and the farther they move away from God, the farther they get to each other. One major way to draw closer to God is through prayers and committed study of his word. You must daily seek to know God more.

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.

The more you pray the better you become.

The world is a battle ground. For any woman to be able to sustain her marriage and keep her man, she must be willing to fight for him. I have met a lot of people who say life is not a competition. But I beg to disagree. If you are not willing to compete for what is yours, other will grab it away from you. Life is a battleground and only the fittest will survive.
Everything around us indicates that we live in a world of battle. Many things compete for our attention, resources and even compete for our life. We are made of flesh but we do not war in the flesh. For the weapon of our warfare are not carnal (2 Cor. 10:3-4) Prayer and vigilance are important tools of battle for every woman who wants to maintain her home, especially in this end times.

“But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer” I Peter 4:7
Pray, so that you don’t fall into temptation
“Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter unto temptation”. Mark 14: 38
Watch out for your husband /family and pray for them if you do not want to fall into temptation. Esther would have lost her life and position, if she refused to heed to the advice of her Uncle – Mordecai. She fasted and prayed. Esther 4:13-16. Your beauty may attract your king to you but you need much more than beauty to keep you as his queen.

You must be violent in the place of prayers. Remember that just like the kingdom of God, every good thing of life will be competed for and only the violent takes it by force.
Matthew 11:12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, only the violent take it by force.

Pray, so that you can achieve your potentials.
The most fundamental need of man is God. Outside of God, no man can achieve his full potential. This is an important reason you must pray for your man. That he might know God the more and be like Him. Paul prayed in Philippian 3:10 and said, “I want to know Christ. This should be the prayers of every woman for her spouse. The more of Christ he knows the better a husband he will be to you and the better a father he will be to your children. Remember that Christ is the best model of a husband a and father. He is the Groom of the Church and he loved the Church to the point of death.
The closer a man gets to God, the better a man he becomes.
Pray for every member of your family.
Your prayer is not strictly for your husband alone it should also cover for all your family especially the male children. Women who refuse to intercede for their men will lose them to strange women.

Why you must intercede for your man
– Strange women are controlled by the devil and demonic agents whose primary ambition is to destroy your family and in the process destroy your joy and make your life miserable. John 10:10. They have nothing to lose when they accomplish their goal, but you have everything to lose. Thus, you must stand up and fight for what rightfully belong to you in the place of prayer.

– Strange women always want to reap in a place where they have not sown. They are HARVEST STEALERS and HARVEST DESTROYERS. A friend of mine told me the story of a farmer who planted ginger in his farm. The farmer has put a lot of effort in the farm so as to ensure that the ginger crop yielded maximally that year and his effort actually paid off. The product did well that year and the farmer was on the lookout for the day of harvest.
Suddenly, the farmer received a phone call one night that there was bright light emanating from his farm in the middle of the night. When the farmer, came to the farm the following day, he discovered that his entire ginger crop has been harvested and stolen away by some unknown persons. The thieves came and illuminated everywhere and stole everything he had worked for. This is what strange women do. They allow you to labor with your husband. Perhaps, you even married him when he was a nobody. You became a blessing and a destined-helper to him. Now that he has become somebody great, they want to snatch him away from you.

Prayer: Any strange women, who want to steal your covering, I decree confusion will ensue between her and your man just like it happen at the tower of babel in Jesus name. They will not be able to perform their enterprises.

– Strange women want to take away your honor and that of your family and replace it with reproach (SCANDAL).
“For the lips of a strange women drop as an honey comb and her mouth is smoother than oil Bushier end is better as wormwood, sharp as a two-edge sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou give thine honor unto others, and thy year unto the cruel. Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth, and thy labor be in the house of a stranger. Prov. 5:3-5, 9-10.

– Strange women are not different from thieves (Robbers). They want to steal your husband, his wealth, his family, even his health. Strange women carry sexually transmitted diseases and pass it on to your husband which he may in turn, transfer to you.
– “lest strangers be filled with thy wealth, and thy labour be in the house of a stranger”. Prov. 5:10
A disturbed lady once asked if she can really keep a man who is not willing to be kept, as she has done everything to keep her man. The answer is what is the strange woman doing to have a strong grip on your man. Your man may be like a wild animal on the outside but he secretly wishes he could be tamed. One way to tame yours is by prayers and good attitude. These two factors bring out kingly nature of your man.
“The heart of king is in God’s hand, he directs it to wheresoever He wills.
Prov.21:1.

Be an intercessor for your husband and children.
– Pray that God will make your husband a better man and a more responsible father to your children.
– Ask God to make him and the children, godlier and more loving.
– Pray for God’s blessing upon his work.
– Pray that God will give him more wisdom to lead the family.
– Pray for God’s guidance in all aspect of his life.

Finally, let your husband know that you are praying for him by asking him for the specific needs that he wants God to do for him. This gives him confidence that he has you as his support system and backbone. It also improves your communication and bond to each other. Let him know that you care for him at all times. We all need back up system. He needs to know that you’ve got his back at all time.

Chapter THREE- SEX
I wish my wife will truely PLAY WITH ME, and not with any other.

How sweet is your love, my darling, my Bride! The beautiful smell of your love is better than the richest spice.
Songs of Solomon 4:10
God created us, both male and female, with special needs which can only be met within the confines of marriage and that is the need for love and SEX! This is however more glaring amongst the male folks, thus the need for wives to help their husbands to fulfill their sexual fantasies. And in like manner the men should help their women to be sexually gratified.

A husband should satisfy the sexual needs of his wife, and she should satisfy his sexual needs also. 1 Corinthians 7:3.

Here are a few truths women should know about the sexuality of their beau:
1.The primary need of the male gender is sex. They are naturally wired by God to produce the next generation. That is why they are naturally looking for opportunity for sex unlike the female gender who is on heat period more, naturally in her mid-cycle period called ovulation time. A man can produce over twenty million seeds (sperm cells) at any point in time but a woman only gives an egg once a month. To deny a man the opportunity to do this is to frustrate him.

2. Don’t deny your man sex because he has not met your material needs. You are not a prostitute who hinges her services on financial gains first. The strange woman does not find it difficult to meet the sexual needs of your husband and so if you predicate your fulfilment of your conjugal duties on him meeting your material needs first, then you are gradually pushing him out to them. Even though this is not an excuse for the man not to meet the materials needs of his wife and home, women must know that meeting your hubby’s sexual need is important in sustaining your home. Don’t ever forget that.

3. Men love variety. Many ungodly men use this an excuse to be polygamous. This is a hard truth for many to comprehend. Christians couples should not cringe when issues of sex and sexuality is being talked about . Learn to spice up your sexual experiences. We may be called to be missionaries sometimes but we are not obliged to always practice the “missionary style” of sex at all time. You have 100% freedom to give each other pleasure in the best possible way. Woman, allow your man to explore you. Don’t just lie there like a log of wood. Oblige to his sexual fantasies within the context of anything godly and healthy. Remember that if you don’t, there is a strange woman outside, willing to give him what you refuse him. Variety, you should know is the spice of life. Be more adventurous.

“His left hand is under my head and his right hand doth embrace me”. Songs of Solomon 2:6

I HAVE come into my garden, my sister, my [promised] bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my balsam and spice [from your sweet words I have gathered the richest perfumes and spices]. I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk.
Song of Solomon 5:1

Enjoying quality sex with your husband and fulfilling his sexual fantansy doesn’t make you less spiritual

Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twins of a gazelle that feed among the lilies.
Come away with me from Lebanon, my [promised] bride, come with me from Lebanon. Depart from the top of Amana, from the peak of Senir and Hermon, from the lions’ dens, from the mountains of the leopards. Your lips, O my [promised] bride, drop honey as the honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue. And the odor of your garments is like the odor of Lebanon. Let my beloved come into his garden and eat its choicest fruits. Songs of Solomon 4:5,8,11,16b

A lady once asked if it’s godly to allow her husband to desire her sexual organs with his mouth as it sounds dirty to her. This was my response,” To the people who are pure, everything is is pure.” Titus 1:15

My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether. Songs of Solomon 2:16-17

Any sexual move mutually agreed upon by the couple within the confines of marriage is acceptable. However, sadomarsochism and other dangerous activities that can lead to physical injury , abuse and disease should be discouraged and avoided. Oral sex may be tolerable but can lead to sore throat , so a good and thorough mouth wash should always follow.

When in public, men want their women to dress decently but that is not for the bedroom. Learn to seduce your man. Make his mind run wild when he sees you in the bedroom. Remember that the man is moved by sight.

Sex is a lubricant that reduces friction in the home. The more regular you have sex with your husband, the less of of squabbles you will be having. Dag Heward Mills said, that the sexual life of a couple is the thermometer of their love and relationship. Regular quality and exciting sex with your husband drive the strange woman away, just like an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Chapter Four- RESPECT AND COMMUNICATION.
I wish my wife will TALK WITH ME and not talk back at me.
“Let me see thy countenance, let me have your voice; for your voice is sweet and thy countenance is comely” Song of Solomon 2: 14 B

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”1 Peter 3:6

• Respect and Good communication is what sustains relationship. Conflicts arise when communication is broken and when partners have no regard for each others feelings. Partners begin to relate based on assumption and presumptions. And because, no man or woman is omniscient , barely will you be able to know the mind of your partner if you do not communicate.

In communicating with your partner, what you say to him matters but how you say it matters even more. When your husband opens up to you , encourage him. Talking to your husband respectfully is very important. Treat him like a king, and he will treat you like a queen. Do not knock him down with arguments and nagging, no matter how right you think you are. Every man requires self esteem .You can either build it for him or destroy it.

Many women are in the habit of nagging and unfortunately, this is not an attribute that men love or appreciate.

Below are a few tips that you should consider when talking to your boo and you will be amazed at how he will treat you as his queen.

– Do not make matters out of matters that are no-matters. Some times issues that are of priority to you may be non issues to him. Think of constructive ways of making him see things from your own point of view. What negative criticism and nagging will not do in ten years, gracious words and appreciation will do for you in no time.
– The highest form of communication any woman can give to her husband is to be available for him when he needs her. Do not overlabor yourself to the extent that you cannot make yourself available to him when he needs you. When God was about giving the institution of marriage, the primary reason he stated was “..It is not good for the man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18. If you are together with your husband and he still feels lonely with you around him, then it is like being in water and yet your are still thirsty. It is more frustrating than being thirsty and not having water available. Learn to spend quality time with your boo. When, for any reason, couples don’t spend time together, it makes them accessible to strange men and women, who in turn take advantage of such situations.

– Be soft in your words. A soft answer always turns away wrath, but grievous words stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness. Prov. 15:1-2.
No man has any justifiable reason to physically or emotionally abuse his wife, but I will like to encourage women not to stir up the beast in their men through their grievous words.

“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and irritable woman” Prov. 21:19.
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or rasping oil with the hand. Prov. 27:15-16
– He did not marry you to be his antagonist. Leave the work of criticism to others and if you must criticise him at all, do it constructively. Positive words of affirmation boosts a man’s ego. If you must criticise him on the things he is not doing right, do it in the confines of your bedroom. Constantly criticizing him both in private and public (but more especially in the public) is highly demeaning and demoralizing to any men. It destroys their self worth and ego. It makes him want to distant himself from you like a plaque because nobody wants to be around negative people. But if you criticize and attack each other, be careful that you don’t destroy each other. Galatians 5:15
– Never , ever use abusive language while talking to your man. Words are spirit. They materialise. They become a reality. Your man will become what you say he is. You call him a beast, he becomes a beast.
– The use of foul or abusive language when relating with your husband is ungodly and highly unrecommended

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let every thing you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be encouragement to those hear them. Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

Finally, do not go the other extreme of grudging or keeping malice with your husband and avoid talking to him. This is common with many women. It widens the gap between the two of you and gives opportunity for the strange woman to have her way with your boo. Ego clash amongst couple destroys marriage. Learn to approach your man in humility and say, “I am sorry”. Saying sorry does not make you a weakling, it only opens the door for better communication which will in turn help your marriage.

Let’s talk about the common barriers of good communication amongst married folks
1. Preoccupation with domestic matters to the neglect of your husband’s need. Communication is high among couples immediately after marriage but when the children begin to set in , communication reduces. Many women abandon their husbands for their children, thus making the man lonely amidst the crowd.

3. 2 . Lack of attentive ears- Failure to listen to each other. When your husband is talking , give him rapt attention, when he is talking, don’t be engaged with the phone, chatting with some other persons. Focus on him, respond to his questions. Don’t act as if he doesn’t exist. Communication goes beyond just talking. It is a way thing. It involves active listening while the other person talks. Give your spouse rapt attention when he is talking. Focus on him, ask relevant questions where it is necessary.

4. Overcrowded schedule. We live in an extremely busy world, especially now when the women folks are taking the breadwinner role in the family. However, no matter how busy you are as a woman, learn to create time for your man. When couples get too busy with work, church affairs or even house chores etc to the detriment of their relationship, it creates communication barrier. Learn to eliminate some activities in your schedule to create time for each other or you do the important ones together.
5. Past hurts. Two people who have been in relationship for sometimes, might have hurt each other at some point in time. It is not uncommon for women to refer to past hurts when such similar issues come up. It hurts the man and it affects communication. Note however that no man is permitted to abuse you in any way. If your lover becomes a hater, it is proper you separate from him for your safety and that if your children.
6. Fear- Do not allow fear from allowing you communicate with your boo. If you are afraid to talk to him , then it is not worth it living together. Perfect love has no fear.1 John 4:18. Fear in a relationship is an indication of insecurity and distrust.
7. Disrespect- No man likes to be disrespected. When you disrespect your man, it creates a barrier between the two of you. Disrespect destroys communication.

Treat your man with respect. Have a good attitude because your attitude sets the tone for the entire family. Don’t be a nag. Be pleasant to be with. Don’t be a bore. Smile always. Remember that it is only a wise woman who builds her home while the foolish one pulls it down with her own hands.

Communication builders.
• Appreciation- appreciate his good works. List out the good things he does and tell him how much you love him for it.
• Little acts of kindness. Make his life happier by helping him out , even when he didn’t request for it. Love is more in the doing than in the feeling. This will boost your communication.

Chapter Five- FEEDING
I wish my wife will truely FEED ME and my children

The way to a man’s heart is his belly.
-African Proverb
The way of the throat is the way to the beyond.
-African Proverb
A hungry man is an angry man.
-African Proverb

The above African Proverbs may not be entirely true but it bring to the fore the obvious importance of good food in any marital relationship. One of the way to attract and keep a man is to give him good food. Many men have taken critical decisions concerning matters after feeding on sumptuous meal.
– Isaac gave the blessings to Jacob after eating Rebecca ‘ s food, and he could not take it back for his beloved son, Esau.
-Esther was able to expose Haman after feeding Ahasuerus, the king, a bountiful feast.
-Herod beheaded John the Baptist after a banquet, on request of Herodias and her daughter. Mark 6:14-29.
– Prophetic blessings have been released following special delicacies. The Shunemite woman in 2 Kings 4:8-37 got her blessings after feeding Elijah.
-Abraham and Sarah got their Laughter (Isaac) after feeding the angel unknowingly.
-The poor widow of ZAREPHAT became a millionaire in time of recession after feeding God’s prophet- Elijah, in 1 King 17:7-16

Cooking is an art that every woman must perfect if you must tame your beau.

Chapter Six
I wish my wife will SUPPORT my dreams and not ignore it.

A good man has a dreams and when such dreams become unachieved, it makes the man frustrated. It even gets worse when he knows that his spouse contributed to him not achieving his dreams. It breaks the mans heart and he wants to be far away from you. Strange women take advantage of such situations. Sugar mummies provide all the love and care you denied him and some even back it up with financial support to help him out.
Men are naturally full of ego and love adventure, a combination that women find difficult it to comprehend. Men hate to be controlled, ordered around or even forced to change. He needs you to be his wife, friend and confidante. He doesn’t need an overbearing mother any more. He’s had one before and that’s why he came for you. It to natural to be protective of the one you love and not want to see them embark on any venture and fail, because that’s what mothers do. But that’s how men learn. They love experimenting. When you stop him from experimenting that’s when he feels he is a failure. He feels he is not grown up enough. He feels like a boy.

If a man never fails, he never learns. A man considers himself a failure, not when he didn’t succeed in a venture but when he is not considered fit enough to be given the opportunity to try.

The best way to love a man is to allow him to be a man. Men love women who enjoy their madness rather than women who force them to be who they are not.

These are some of the measures you can take to help your man achieve his dreams.
1. Help him get ready for work in the morning. Welcome him home with a hug and not barrage of complains. Learn to encourage his interest during his leisure time. Try his hobbies. Couples benefit when they do things together
2. Believe in him and respect his choice. Never denigrate his decisions even if you don’t like them. Help him build his career.
3. Affirm his masculinity and if possible celebrate it. Let him know that you value the manly things he does in the house for you and the children. Appreciate his presence as a strong husband. Encourage him when he feels depressed when it looks like his expectations are dashed.
4. Be his help, not his competition. Think and incubate ideas that can help your husband. Don’t use your abilities to prove to him that you are as good as he is but to complement him.

Chapter Seven-
I wish my wife will be hardworking and be a good homemaker

Teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands and their children. To be discreet, chaste, domestic, kind and obedient to their husbands. That the word of God be not discredited. Titus 2:4-5

A good and clean home gives the man a calming effect and makes them feel comfortable and relaxed. It allows the man to unwind after a hard day’s job. A good woman will know how to provide a peaceful haven for her man so as not to push him away to the strangers outside who are ready to devour him. Many men hate coming back home early for so many reasons, an unkempt home being one of them. They feel more relaxed in the bar or in the hands of Delilah.

Boaz was attracted to the woman called Ruth because of her good attitude and diligence. Read Ruth 2. No man likes a liability as a wife. A diligent study of the books of Proverbs 31:10-end will show you the characteristics of an ideal woman in and out of the home. It shows the perfect woman. You may not be one right now,but you can strive to be one.

No man likes an unkempt home even if he contributes to the untidiness of the house. Many men come back from the workplace and dump their suits, socks and bags any where in the home. Good women clean up for their men. This is not an excuse for the man to be disorganized.

The modern woman hates to be domesticated. To be domesticated as a woman is a good virtue. Read Proverbs 31.

Do not allow your priorities to get out of order . your salvation and marriage are more important than anything else you want to do. Pay attention to your fellowship with the Lord, your husband and your children. Take good care of your homeand make it clean.

How can you be domesticated as a woman.
1.First understand that your house keeping responsibilities is a service to God. This will help put your priorities right and in order.
2. Learn the arts and acts of home keeping from every available source.
3. Make your living room spick and span, ready for visitors always
4. Let your kitchen , toilet and bath be exquisitely clean.
5. Change your beddings. Regularly.
6. Never allow essentials like toiletries to run out before replacement

7. Take the family’s used clothings to laundry. Don’t allow dirty clothes to litter the home. Stack or hang them in the proper place- closet /wardrobe after wash. Should your man decide to help out with some of these chores, learn to appreciate him.

Chapter seven
I wish my wife will trust me and have full confidence in me

When you become a super detective and you set check points to checkmate your boo, getting suspicious of his every moves and actions, then be ready to live a frustrated life because your excessive checks on him will produce nothing productive but bitterness. Do not question his movements , unless you need it for business information. Whenever he goes out and comes back home, let him know you are happy to see him. Avoid putting up fits or complaining. Make your home worth coming back to.
CONCLUSION
Resolving conflicts in your marriage
Conflicts is inevitable but combat is optional
– Max Lucado.

Conflicts are disagreement between two parties. Every true relationship must be tried so as to determine its integrity. No two individuals in a relationship are the same. They have their personal differences. They have different genetic make-up, different gender, background and even up-bringing. No two persons think and act alike and so conflicts are inevitable.

The success of any marital relationship is not in the absence of conflicts but in the ability of the partners to resolve their differences appropriately. Resolved conflicts spice up your relationships but unresolved ones which are made to linger might lead to the death of that marriage. Any time a couple resolve their conflict, they get closer than before.

How do you resolve conflicts in your marriage? The answer is in giving up your rights. if either of the conflicting party can surrender their rights, then there will be no more conflict. A wise man once said that, “If we all claim our rights, there will be nothing left”. It takes two to disagree, but it takes just one to agree. Conflicts result two parties disagree on a matter, but the conflicts ends when one of the parties chooses to agree with the other.

Agreeing with your spouse does not make you a fool or less important to him or her. It only makes you the stronger and wiser partner. You did it to maintain peace and Jesus said, ” Blessed are the peacemakers, because they shall be called the sons of God”. Matthew 5:9. Choosing to displease yourself so as to please your spouse makes you stronger and sacrificial. Choose to be the better person.SEVEN THINGS HUSBANDS SECRETLY WISH THEIR WIVES WOULD DO FOR THEM.
“How to keep your man from strange women”

DEDICATION:
This article is specially dedicated to all married women who are having challenges in their marriages and those who have their grown up male children trapped by the snare of strange women.

INTRODUCTION:
Does the responsibility of keeping the home and maintaining a lifelong happy and monogamous relationship and marriage, the sole responsibility of a woman alone? No!
Why is it then that so much demand is being placed on the woman? The husband, the extended family and even the society at large blame her for the failure of her marriage.
No doubt, the success of any marriage is the joint and equal responsibility of both partners, but this write up is to highlight the role of the woman, judging from the angle and perspective of her husband- the man. The second part of this book, titled “What women secretly wish their husbands will do for them”, co- authored with my wife will address what the husbands need to do for their wives so that they can enjoy a blissful and blessed home.
Seeing with the eyes of your spouse. Until we begin to see things with the eyes of our partners, it may be difficult to know the reasons why they do what they do.
Your husband has expectations which always ought to be communicated but sometime is not due to so many reasons. In marriage, partners expectations are suppose to be communicated to one another. Lack of communication has always been a source of rift in marriage. Therefore, we encourage communication between partners, but this write-up is to reveal to the women some of the secret expectations of their husbands which they may not have known before and is not communicated to her.
You will definitely enjoy your life, family and husband as you do what your husband expects from you (under God) as highlighted in this book. Cast aside every blame and do your part in making your marriage a success.
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. I Pet. 3:1(NIV).
Remember that behind every successful man, is always a diligent, committed and responsible woman. You will succeed in your marriage.
PRAYER:
(1) May the Holy Ghost empower you to discern when strange women want to attack your family Amen.
(2) Receive wisdom to know what to do at every point in time in your marriage in Jesus name.

CHAPTER ONE
The strange women:
From time immemorial, there has always been strange women whose sole ambition is to take away other women’s husband. They dress seductively exposing their cleavages,boobs, butts and other sensitive part of their bodies so as to attract men.
Unfortunately, many married women through their actions and inaction have pushed their men away to all these strange women by themselves. These has made them to completely lose their husbands to these DAUGHTHERS OF JEZEBEL
The reason many of these strange women succeed is because some of the fundamentals which will be highlighted in this write up are missing in the lives of these women .
Who is a strange woman? Proverb 7:5-end aptly describes who a strange women is. She is a women whose primary ambition is to turn the heart of the man away, first from God, and then from his wife and his children. The Hebrew word “ZAR” translated strange means primarily one who has turn aside, to visit another country. A strange woman is a woman who has primarily turn aside from her primary role as a godly woman. They have given themselves up to the evil one to be instruments (baits) to catch men and draw them to hell.
Strange women do not target married men alone they also want godly single men (bachelors) not to build godly home and marriages with them, but with the sole intent of pushing such men away from God and into hell.
(Read Prov. 2:16-19). A strange woman can go any length to ruin the man. They use soothing and smooth words of seductions and deception, money, material and even the promise of marriage and marriage itself. The ultimate aim of the strange woman is to kill the man until he goes to hell (Read Prov.7:7-21 and 5:3-6)
Prov. 7:23,26-27 Until an arrow pierces his entrails like a bird rushing into the snare, but he does not know that it is for his life. for many slain she had laid low and countless are all of her killings. The ways of sheol (hell) are her house descending to chambers of death.

Proverbs 5:3-6 For the lips of a loose woman drip honey as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged and devouring sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold of Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead). She loses sight of and walks not in the path of life; her ways wind about aimlessly, and you cannot know them.
A strange woman may be a woman physically, but she is controlled by demons from hell and she will go any length to accomplish her missions and the desires of her master, The Devil.
You do not have to allow them to succeed in taking your husband or male children away for the following reasons”
1. Should these strange women succeed, you become the looser. When Delilah succeeded in taking down Samson, his parents, family and the nation of Israel lost a son of destiny, they lost their deliverer.
2. You become a widow and your children become orphans.
3. You loose your covering as a woman if you allow the strange women to take over your home. Spiritually your husband serves as a shield or covering over you and your children. His absence automatically exposes you. You alone have the right to protect your head and covering because if you don’t nobody else will do it for you (I Cor. 11:3).

There is an antiseptic advertorial running on our local Television channel where a child of about 8-10 years was involved in an accident while playing on the field and he sustained some minor injury. He ran back to where his mother was and she used the antiseptic to clean his wounds. The boy appreciated his mum when she was done and she in turn looked to the camera and said “if I don’t take care of him, who will?”

Woman, if you don’t defend and fight for what’s yours who else will do it for you? He is your husband and nobody else’s. Whoever lays claim to him is an usurper. He belongs to you and to you alone. You cannot afford to just walk away from your marriage just because of some strange woman appearing on the scene. Outside of physical and serious emotional abuse, don’t just give up easily.
In many cultures around the world, the husband is the head of the woman. And that’s what God approves of. You must protect your own head. Your man being your spiritual head does not make you less inferior to him. It is just a matter of divine order. And by the way, you who happen to be neck exert a greater influence on the man. And so, don’t ever feel inferior to the man. You are equally important in God’s agenda for the family.
Strange women are everywhere, like the air you breathe. As ubiquitous as they are, they could even be under your own roof and you are catering and sheltering them. The strange women could be your very own housemaid, friend, or relation, your husband’s secretary or colleague at work. The least place you will expect them is in the church*, but let me tell you the truth, they are there. Be careful. Don’t lose your guard. This is not to scare you, but to make you be on the lookout. It is not to scare you, but to remind you to lovingly care for your own. Don’t push him into their hands.
*Don’t be surprise that you can find Jezebel in Church. Even Satan comes around, when God’s children gather. Job 1:6 Now there was a day when the sons of God where gathered before the Lord, and Satan came also among them.

They are there, in the eateries, play ground, on the street, in your neighborhood etc. watch out.

Now, that you know that you have a competition, let us look together at some of the things that will give you an edge over the strange woman. What does your husband secretly wish you will do for him that will give you edge over other women outside that may be seeking his attention?
Chapter TWO- PRAYERS
I wish my wife will PRAY for me.
“(Wo) Men ought always to pray and not to faint”.
Jesus Christ ( Luke 18:1)
You both need God.
The primary need of humanity is God. Irrespective of our gender, race and colour, God is the reason for our existence. Without him, we are nothing, life is ephemeral and lacking in eternal value. Therefore, woman, you must realize that the best you can do for your man is to help him know God better. And this you can do through your prayers. Marriage is like an equilateral or isosceles triangle, with the couples on the base angles of the triangle and God at the peak angle. The closer they move to the peak (God), the closer they get to each other and the farther they move away from God, the farther they get to each other. One major way to draw closer to God is through prayers and committed study of his word. You must daily seek to know God more.

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.

The more you pray the better you become.

The world is a battle ground. For any woman to be able to sustain her marriage and keep her man, she must be willing to fight for him. I have met a lot of people who say life is not a competition. But I beg to disagree. If you are not willing to compete for what is yours, other will grab it away from you. Life is a battleground and only the fittest will survive.
Everything around us indicates that we live in a world of battle. Many things compete for our attention, resources and even compete for our life. We are made of flesh but we do not war in the flesh. For the weapon of our warfare are not carnal (2 Cor. 10:3-4) Prayer and vigilance are important tools of battle for every woman who wants to maintain her home, especially in this end times.

“But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer” I Peter 4:7
Pray, so that you don’t fall into temptation
“Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter unto temptation”. Mark 14: 38
Watch out for your husband /family and pray for them if you do not want to fall into temptation. Esther would have lost her life and position, if she refused to heed to the advice of her Uncle – Mordecai. She fasted and prayed. Esther 4:13-16. Your beauty may attract your king to you but you need much more than beauty to keep you as his queen.

You must be violent in the place of prayers. Remember that just like the kingdom of God, every good thing of life will be competed for and only the violent takes it by force.
Matthew 11:12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, only the violent take it by force.

Pray, so that you can achieve your potentials.
The most fundamental need of man is God. Outside of God, no man can achieve his full potential. This is an important reason you must pray for your man. That he might know God the more and be like Him. Paul prayed in Philippian 3:10 and said, “I want to know Christ. This should be the prayers of every woman for her spouse. The more of Christ he knows the better a husband he will be to you and the better a father he will be to your children. Remember that Christ is the best model of a husband a and father. He is the Groom of the Church and he loved the Church to the point of death.
The closer a man gets to God, the better a man he becomes.
Pray for every member of your family.
Your prayer is not strictly for your husband alone it should also cover for all your family especially the male children. Women who refuse to intercede for their men will lose them to strange women.

Why you must intercede for your man
– Strange women are controlled by the devil and demonic agents whose primary ambition is to destroy your family and in the process destroy your joy and make your life miserable. John 10:10. They have nothing to lose when they accomplish their goal, but you have everything to lose. Thus, you must stand up and fight for what rightfully belong to you in the place of prayer.

– Strange women always want to reap in a place where they have not sown. They are HARVEST STEALERS and HARVEST DESTROYERS. A friend of mine told me the story of a farmer who planted ginger in his farm. The farmer has put a lot of effort in the farm so as to ensure that the ginger crop yielded maximally that year and his effort actually paid off. The product did well that year and the farmer was on the lookout for the day of harvest.
Suddenly, the farmer received a phone call one night that there was bright light emanating from his farm in the middle of the night. When the farmer, came to the farm the following day, he discovered that his entire ginger crop has been harvested and stolen away by some unknown persons. The thieves came and illuminated everywhere and stole everything he had worked for. This is what strange women do. They allow you to labor with your husband. Perhaps, you even married him when he was a nobody. You became a blessing and a destined-helper to him. Now that he has become somebody great, they want to snatch him away from you.

Prayer: Any strange women, who want to steal your covering, I decree confusion will ensue between her and your man just like it happen at the tower of babel in Jesus name. They will not be able to perform their enterprises.

– Strange women want to take away your honor and that of your family and replace it with reproach (SCANDAL).
“For the lips of a strange women drop as an honey comb and her mouth is smoother than oil Bushier end is better as wormwood, sharp as a two-edge sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou give thine honor unto others, and thy year unto the cruel. Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth, and thy labor be in the house of a stranger. Prov. 5:3-5, 9-10.

– Strange women are not different from thieves (Robbers). They want to steal your husband, his wealth, his family, even his health. Strange women carry sexually transmitted diseases and pass it on to your husband which he may in turn, transfer to you.
– “lest strangers be filled with thy wealth, and thy labour be in the house of a stranger”. Prov. 5:10
A disturbed lady once asked if she can really keep a man who is not willing to be kept, as she has done everything to keep her man. The answer is what is the strange woman doing to have a strong grip on your man. Your man may be like a wild animal on the outside but he secretly wishes he could be tamed. One way to tame yours is by prayers and good attitude. These two factors bring out kingly nature of your man.
“The heart of king is in God’s hand, he directs it to wheresoever He wills.
Prov.21:1.

Be an intercessor for your husband and children.
– Pray that God will make your husband a better man and a more responsible father to your children.
– Ask God to make him and the children, godlier and more loving.
– Pray for God’s blessing upon his work.
– Pray that God will give him more wisdom to lead the family.
– Pray for God’s guidance in all aspect of his life.

Finally, let your husband know that you are praying for him by asking him for the specific needs that he wants God to do for him. This gives him confidence that he has you as his support system and backbone. It also improves your communication and bond to each other. Let him know that you care for him at all times. We all need back up system. He needs to know that you’ve got his back at all time.

Chapter THREE- SEX
I wish my wife will truely PLAY WITH ME, and not with any other.

How sweet is your love, my darling, my Bride! The beautiful smell of your love is better than the richest spice.
Songs of Solomon 4:10
God created us, both male and female, with special needs which can only be met within the confines of marriage and that is the need for love and SEX! This is however more glaring amongst the male folks, thus the need for wives to help their husbands to fulfill their sexual fantasies. And in like manner the men should help their women to be sexually gratified.

A husband should satisfy the sexual needs of his wife, and she should satisfy his sexual needs also. 1 Corinthians 7:3.

Here are a few truths women should know about the sexuality of their beau:
1.The primary need of the male gender is sex. They are naturally wired by God to produce the next generation. That is why they are naturally looking for opportunity for sex unlike the female gender who is on heat period more, naturally in her mid-cycle period called ovulation time. A man can produce over twenty million seeds (sperm cells) at any point in time but a woman only gives an egg once a month. To deny a man the opportunity to do this is to frustrate him.

2. Don’t deny your man sex because he has not met your material needs. You are not a prostitute who hinges her services on financial gains first. The strange woman does not find it difficult to meet the sexual needs of your husband and so if you predicate your fulfilment of your conjugal duties on him meeting your material needs first, then you are gradually pushing him out to them. Even though this is not an excuse for the man not to meet the materials needs of his wife and home, women must know that meeting your hubby’s sexual need is important in sustaining your home. Don’t ever forget that.

3. Men love variety. Many ungodly men use this an excuse to be polygamous. This is a hard truth for many to comprehend. Christians couples should not cringe when issues of sex and sexuality is being talked about . Learn to spice up your sexual experiences. We may be called to be missionaries sometimes but we are not obliged to always practice the “missionary style” of sex at all time. You have 100% freedom to give each other pleasure in the best possible way. Woman, allow your man to explore you. Don’t just lie there like a log of wood. Oblige to his sexual fantasies within the context of anything godly and healthy. Remember that if you don’t, there is a strange woman outside, willing to give him what you refuse him. Variety, you should know is the spice of life. Be more adventurous.

“His left hand is under my head and his right hand doth embrace me”. Songs of Solomon 2:6

I HAVE come into my garden, my sister, my [promised] bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my balsam and spice [from your sweet words I have gathered the richest perfumes and spices]. I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk.
Song of Solomon 5:1

Enjoying quality sex with your husband and fulfilling his sexual fantansy doesn’t make you less spiritual

Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twins of a gazelle that feed among the lilies.
Come away with me from Lebanon, my [promised] bride, come with me from Lebanon. Depart from the top of Amana, from the peak of Senir and Hermon, from the lions’ dens, from the mountains of the leopards. Your lips, O my [promised] bride, drop honey as the honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue. And the odor of your garments is like the odor of Lebanon. Let my beloved come into his garden and eat its choicest fruits. Songs of Solomon 4:5,8,11,16b

A lady once asked if it’s godly to allow her husband to desire her sexual organs with his mouth as it sounds dirty to her. This was my response,” To the people who are pure, everything is is pure.” Titus 1:15

My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether. Songs of Solomon 2:16-17

Any sexual move mutually agreed upon by the couple within the confines of marriage is acceptable. However, sadomarsochism and other dangerous activities that can lead to physical injury , abuse and disease should be discouraged and avoided. Oral sex may be tolerable but can lead to sore throat , so a good and thorough mouth wash should always follow.

When in public, men want their women to dress decently but that is not for the bedroom. Learn to seduce your man. Make his mind run wild when he sees you in the bedroom. Remember that the man is moved by sight.

Sex is a lubricant that reduces friction in the home. The more regular you have sex with your husband, the less of of squabbles you will be having. Dag Heward Mills said, that the sexual life of a couple is the thermometer of their love and relationship. Regular quality and exciting sex with your husband drive the strange woman away, just like an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Chapter Four- RESPECT AND COMMUNICATION.
I wish my wife will TALK WITH ME and not talk back at me.
“Let me see thy countenance, let me have your voice; for your voice is sweet and thy countenance is comely” Song of Solomon 2: 14 B

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”1 Peter 3:6

• Respect and Good communication is what sustains relationship. Conflicts arise when communication is broken and when partners have no regard for each others feelings. Partners begin to relate based on assumption and presumptions. And because, no man or woman is omniscient , barely will you be able to know the mind of your partner if you do not communicate.

In communicating with your partner, what you say to him matters but how you say it matters even more. When your husband opens up to you , encourage him. Talking to your husband respectfully is very important. Treat him like a king, and he will treat you like a queen. Do not knock him down with arguments and nagging, no matter how right you think you are. Every man requires self esteem .You can either build it for him or destroy it.

Many women are in the habit of nagging and unfortunately, this is not an attribute that men love or appreciate.

Below are a few tips that you should consider when talking to your boo and you will be amazed at how he will treat you as his queen.

– Do not make matters out of matters that are no-matters. Some times issues that are of priority to you may be non issues to him. Think of constructive ways of making him see things from your own point of view. What negative criticism and nagging will not do in ten years, gracious words and appreciation will do for you in no time.
– The highest form of communication any woman can give to her husband is to be available for him when he needs her. Do not overlabor yourself to the extent that you cannot make yourself available to him when he needs you. When God was about giving the institution of marriage, the primary reason he stated was “..It is not good for the man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18. If you are together with your husband and he still feels lonely with you around him, then it is like being in water and yet your are still thirsty. It is more frustrating than being thirsty and not having water available. Learn to spend quality time with your boo. When, for any reason, couples don’t spend time together, it makes them accessible to strange men and women, who in turn take advantage of such situations.

– Be soft in your words. A soft answer always turns away wrath, but grievous words stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness. Prov. 15:1-2.
No man has any justifiable reason to physically or emotionally abuse his wife, but I will like to encourage women not to stir up the beast in their men through their grievous words.

“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and irritable woman” Prov. 21:19.
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or rasping oil with the hand. Prov. 27:15-16
– He did not marry you to be his antagonist. Leave the work of criticism to others and if you must criticise him at all, do it constructively. Positive words of affirmation boosts a man’s ego. If you must criticise him on the things he is not doing right, do it in the confines of your bedroom. Constantly criticizing him both in private and public (but more especially in the public) is highly demeaning and demoralizing to any men. It destroys their self worth and ego. It makes him want to distant himself from you like a plaque because nobody wants to be around negative people. But if you criticize and attack each other, be careful that you don’t destroy each other. Galatians 5:15
– Never , ever use abusive language while talking to your man. Words are spirit. They materialise. They become a reality. Your man will become what you say he is. You call him a beast, he becomes a beast.
– The use of foul or abusive language when relating with your husband is ungodly and highly unrecommended

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let every thing you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be encouragement to those hear them. Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

Finally, do not go the other extreme of grudging or keeping malice with your husband and avoid talking to him. This is common with many women. It widens the gap between the two of you and gives opportunity for the strange woman to have her way with your boo. Ego clash amongst couple destroys marriage. Learn to approach your man in humility and say, “I am sorry”. Saying sorry does not make you a weakling, it only opens the door for better communication which will in turn help your marriage.

Let’s talk about the common barriers of good communication amongst married folks
1. Preoccupation with domestic matters to the neglect of your husband’s need. Communication is high among couples immediately after marriage but when the children begin to set in , communication reduces. Many women abandon their husbands for their children, thus making the man lonely amidst the crowd.

3. 2 . Lack of attentive ears- Failure to listen to each other. When your husband is talking , give him rapt attention, when he is talking, don’t be engaged with the phone, chatting with some other persons. Focus on him, respond to his questions. Don’t act as if he doesn’t exist. Communication goes beyond just talking. It is a way thing. It involves active listening while the other person talks. Give your spouse rapt attention when he is talking. Focus on him, ask relevant questions where it is necessary.

4. Overcrowded schedule. We live in an extremely busy world, especially now when the women folks are taking the breadwinner role in the family. However, no matter how busy you are as a woman, learn to create time for your man. When couples get too busy with work, church affairs or even house chores etc to the detriment of their relationship, it creates communication barrier. Learn to eliminate some activities in your schedule to create time for each other or you do the important ones together.
5. Past hurts. Two people who have been in relationship for sometimes, might have hurt each other at some point in time. It is not uncommon for women to refer to past hurts when such similar issues come up. It hurts the man and it affects communication. Note however that no man is permitted to abuse you in any way. If your lover becomes a hater, it is proper you separate from him for your safety and that if your children.
6. Fear- Do not allow fear from allowing you communicate with your boo. If you are afraid to talk to him , then it is not worth it living together. Perfect love has no fear.1 John 4:18. Fear in a relationship is an indication of insecurity and distrust.
7. Disrespect- No man likes to be disrespected. When you disrespect your man, it creates a barrier between the two of you. Disrespect destroys communication.

Treat your man with respect. Have a good attitude because your attitude sets the tone for the entire family. Don’t be a nag. Be pleasant to be with. Don’t be a bore. Smile always. Remember that it is only a wise woman who builds her home while the foolish one pulls it down with her own hands.

Communication builders.
• Appreciation- appreciate his good works. List out the good things he does and tell him how much you love him for it.
• Little acts of kindness. Make his life happier by helping him out , even when he didn’t request for it. Love is more in the doing than in the feeling. This will boost your communication.

Chapter Five- FEEDING
I wish my wife will truely FEED ME and my children

The way to a man’s heart is his belly.
-African Proverb
The way of the throat is the way to the beyond.
-African Proverb
A hungry man is an angry man.
-African Proverb

The above African Proverbs may not be entirely true but it bring to the fore the obvious importance of good food in any marital relationship. One of the way to attract and keep a man is to give him good food. Many men have taken critical decisions concerning matters after feeding on sumptuous meal.
– Isaac gave the blessings to Jacob after eating Rebecca ‘ s food, and he could not take it back for his beloved son, Esau.
-Esther was able to expose Haman after feeding Ahasuerus, the king, a bountiful feast.
-Herod beheaded John the Baptist after a banquet, on request of Herodias and her daughter. Mark 6:14-29.
– Prophetic blessings have been released following special delicacies. The Shunemite woman in 2 Kings 4:8-37 got her blessings after feeding Elijah.
-Abraham and Sarah got their Laughter (Isaac) after feeding the angel unknowingly.
-The poor widow of ZAREPHAT became a millionaire in time of recession after feeding God’s prophet- Elijah, in 1 King 17:7-16

Cooking is an art that every woman must perfect if you must tame your beau.

Chapter Six
I wish my wife will SUPPORT my dreams and not ignore it.

A good man has a dreams and when such dreams become unachieved, it makes the man frustrated. It even gets worse when he knows that his spouse contributed to him not achieving his dreams. It breaks the mans heart and he wants to be far away from you. Strange women take advantage of such situations. Sugar mummies provide all the love and care you denied him and some even back it up with financial support to help him out.
Men are naturally full of ego and love adventure, a combination that women find difficult it to comprehend. Men hate to be controlled, ordered around or even forced to change. He needs you to be his wife, friend and confidante. He doesn’t need an overbearing mother any more. He’s had one before and that’s why he came for you. It to natural to be protective of the one you love and not want to see them embark on any venture and fail, because that’s what mothers do. But that’s how men learn. They love experimenting. When you stop him from experimenting that’s when he feels he is a failure. He feels he is not grown up enough. He feels like a boy.

If a man never fails, he never learns. A man considers himself a failure, not when he didn’t succeed in a venture but when he is not considered fit enough to be given the opportunity to try.

The best way to love a man is to allow him to be a man. Men love women who enjoy their madness rather than women who force them to be who they are not.

These are some of the measures you can take to help your man achieve his dreams.
1. Help him get ready for work in the morning. Welcome him home with a hug and not barrage of complains. Learn to encourage his interest during his leisure time. Try his hobbies. Couples benefit when they do things together
2. Believe in him and respect his choice. Never denigrate his decisions even if you don’t like them. Help him build his career.
3. Affirm his masculinity and if possible celebrate it. Let him know that you value the manly things he does in the house for you and the children. Appreciate his presence as a strong husband. Encourage him when he feels depressed when it looks like his expectations are dashed.
4. Be his help, not his competition. Think and incubate ideas that can help your husband. Don’t use your abilities to prove to him that you are as good as he is but to complement him.

Chapter Seven-
I wish my wife will be hardworking and be a good homemaker

Teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands and their children. To be discreet, chaste, domestic, kind and obedient to their husbands. That the word of God be not discredited. Titus 2:4-5

A good and clean home gives the man a calming effect and makes them feel comfortable and relaxed. It allows the man to unwind after a hard day’s job. A good woman will know how to provide a peaceful haven for her man so as not to push him away to the strangers outside who are ready to devour him. Many men hate coming back home early for so many reasons, an unkempt home being one of them. They feel more relaxed in the bar or in the hands of Delilah.

Boaz was attracted to the woman called Ruth because of her good attitude and diligence. Read Ruth 2. No man likes a liability as a wife. A diligent study of the books of Proverbs 31:10-end will show you the characteristics of an ideal woman in and out of the home. It shows the perfect woman. You may not be one right now,but you can strive to be one.

No man likes an unkempt home even if he contributes to the untidiness of the house. Many men come back from the workplace and dump their suits, socks and bags any where in the home. Good women clean up for their men. This is not an excuse for the man to be disorganized.

The modern woman hates to be domesticated. To be domesticated as a woman is a good virtue. Read Proverbs 31.

Do not allow your priorities to get out of order . your salvation and marriage are more important than anything else you want to do. Pay attention to your fellowship with the Lord, your husband and your children. Take good care of your homeand make it clean.

How can you be domesticated as a woman.
1.First understand that your house keeping responsibilities is a service to God. This will help put your priorities right and in order.
2. Learn the arts and acts of home keeping from every available source.
3. Make your living room spick and span, ready for visitors always
4. Let your kitchen , toilet and bath be exquisitely clean.
5. Change your beddings. Regularly.
6. Never allow essentials like toiletries to run out before replacement

7. Take the family’s used clothings to laundry. Don’t allow dirty clothes to litter the home. Stack or hang them in the proper place- closet /wardrobe after wash. Should your man decide to help out with some of these chores, learn to appreciate him.

Chapter seven
I wish my wife will trust me and have full confidence in me

When you become a super detective and you set check points to checkmate your boo, getting suspicious of his every moves and actions, then be ready to live a frustrated life because your excessive checks on him will produce nothing productive but bitterness. Do not question his movements , unless you need it for business information. Whenever he goes out and comes back home, let him know you are happy to see him. Avoid putting up fits or complaining. Make your home worth coming back to.
CONCLUSION
Resolving conflicts in your marriage
Conflicts is inevitable but combat is optional
– Max Lucado.

Conflicts are disagreement between two parties. Every true relationship must be tried so as to determine its integrity. No two individuals in a relationship are the same. They have their personal differences. They have different genetic make-up, different gender, background and even up-bringing. No two persons think and act alike and so conflicts are inevitable.

The success of any marital relationship is not in the absence of conflicts but in the ability of the partners to resolve their differences appropriately. Resolved conflicts spice up your relationships but unresolved ones which are made to linger might lead to the death of that marriage. Any time a couple resolve their conflict, they get closer than before.

How do you resolve conflicts in your marriage? The answer is in giving up your rights. if either of the conflicting party can surrender their rights, then there will be no more conflict. A wise man once said that, “If we all claim our rights, there will be nothing left”. It takes two to disagree, but it takes just one to agree. Conflicts result two parties disagree on a matter, but the conflicts ends when one of the parties chooses to agree with the other.

Agreeing with your spouse does not make you a fool or less important to him or her. It only makes you the stronger and wiser partner. You did it to maintain peace and Jesus said, ” Blessed are the peacemakers, because they shall be called the sons of God”. Matthew 5:9. Choosing to displease yourself so as to please your spouse makes you stronger and sacrificial. Choose to be the better person.

MYSTERY OF THE HYMEN

THE MYSTERY OF THE HYMEN
(The beauty of virginity)
Bringing to the fore the values of abstinence until marriage

Be a girl with a mind, woman with an attitude and a lady with a class.
-Anonymous

INTRODUCTION
What is the Hymen? What mysteries lie behind it? Why should the Hymen be kept intact for Marriage? If it is already lost, what should be done? These are some of the questions that this write up intends to address.

The hymen is not just an ordinary fold of tissues or membrane that partly covers the vagina in a virgin. For a girl and a woman, it stands for much more. It is more of a spiritual entity than a physical one. It is a gateway to your destiny. It is a gateway to your soul. Whoever has assess to it sticks to you for life. The hymen and virginity has been highly trivialised. For obvious reason, virginity all over the world has been looked at as something that should be discarded as soon as the slightest opportunity presents itself. Purity before marriage looks more like a taboo in this day and age. But we cannot know better than our creator, who commands that marriage bed be kept undefiled. Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.Hebrews 13:4

THE UNCLAD CULTURE

Every thing precious is covered. A woman modestly dressed is like a pearl in its shell.

Most valuable and precious commodities of life are not easily accessed by men. Such commodities are accessed by two factors. One is by favour and the other is by diligence and hard work. I read a story about an incidence between the famous Mohammed Ali and his two daughters.The incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.

Here is the story as told by one of his daughters, Hana: “When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in

Polaris Office Document Text

WHAT SHOULD A CHRISTIAN DO WHEN FACED WITH A MEDICAL PROBLEM?
“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest proper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth” 3 John 2

Medical challenge, like every other problem of life is a common challenge confronted by one and all, believers and unbelievers alike. Does God desire this for His children? No! Because He has expressly told us His mind that His desire is that we be in health (3 John 2). God will not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. Lamentation 3:33. But the practical reality that we see every day is that Christians fall sick. Faith homes, churches and even hospitals are filled with believers who have one form of disease or the other.

What is then the factor that is responsible for the medical challenge that believers face? If Christians are confronted with this challenge, what should they do to overcome the problem? First, believers must realize that the following are the tools that the enemy uses to penetrate our lives with sicknesses and diseases (1) Disobedience to God (2) Ignorance of God’s promises (3) Ignorance of the principles of healthy living (4) Lack of faith in God’s word.

God’s own people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6) Many Christians are not aware of the rules and principles of healthy living. Some who claim to know hardly abide by them. Knowledge that is not applied or put to use is as good as not having such knowledge. Rules and principles govern life. God made it that way. Stick to the rules and you will prosper by it. Break the rules and the rules will break you. Ignorance of the rules of life is not an excuse or a reason to be exempted from its repercussion. Let us just highlight a few of these rules and principles of healthy living that we must live by.
1. Be active –exercise is an extremely important factor in staying healthy, so try to be as active as you can.
2. Maintain good hygiene. Remember that cleanliness is next to Godliness.
3. Rest well and maintain a stress free life. Make sure you get enough sleep

Ten reasons why islam is not a religion of peace.

If I was not a christian and Jesus was not the way to heaven/God (which I am certain He is), I could not descend so low as to be involved in this terrible and violent religion called islam because of the following reasons.

Ten Obvious Reasons Why
Islam is NOT a Religion of Peace

#1. 18,000 deadly terror attacks
committed explicitly in the name of
Islam in just the last ten years. (Other
religions combined for perhaps a
dozen or so).

#2 Muhammad, the prophet of Islam,
had people killed for insulting him or
for criticizing his religion. This included
women. Muslims are told to emulate the example of Muhammad.

#3 Muhammad said in many places that he has been “ordered by Allah to fight men until they testify that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is his messenger.” In the last nine years of his life, he ordered no less than 65 military campaigns to do exactly that. Muhammad inspired his men to war with the basest of motives, using captured loot, sex and a gluttonous paradise as incentives. He beheaded captives, enslaved children and Molested women captured in battle. Again, Muslims are told to emulate the example of Muhammad.

#4 After Muhammad died, the people who lived with him and knew his religion best immediately fell into war with each other. Fatima, Muhammad’s favorite daughter, survived the early years among the unbelievers at Mecca safe and sound, yet died of stress from the persecution of fellow Muslims only six months after her father died. She even miscarried Muhammad’s grandchild after having her ribs broken by the man who became the second caliph. Fatima’s husband Ali, who was the second convert to Islam and was raised like a son to Muhammad, fought a civil war against an army raised by Aisha, Muhammad’s favorite wife – and
one whom he had said was a “perfect woman.” 10,000 Muslims were killed in a single battle waged less than 25 years after Muhammad’s death. Three of the first four Muslim rulers (caliphs) were murdered. All of them
were among Muhammad’s closest
companions. The third caliph was killed by allies of the son of the first (who was murdered by the fifth caliph a few years later, then wrapped in the
skin of a dead donkey and burned).
The fourth caliph (Ali) was stabbed to
death after a bitter dispute with the
fifth. The fifth caliph went on to
poison one of Muhammad’s two favorite grandsons. The other
grandson was later beheaded by the
sixth caliph. The infighting and power struggles between Muhammad’s family members, closest companions and their children only intensified with time. Within 50 short years of Muhammad’s death, even the Kaaba, which had stood for centuries under pagan religion, lay in ruins from internal Muslim war… And that’s just the fate of those within the house of Islam! #5 Muhammad directed Muslims to wage war on other religions and bring them under submission to Islam. Within
the first few decades following his
death, his Arabian companions invaded and conquered Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist and Zoroastrian lands. A mere 25 years after Muhammad’s death, Muslim armies had captured land and people within the borders of over 28 modern countries outside of Saudi Arabia. #6 Muslims continued their Jihad against
other religions for 1400 years, checked only by the ability of non-Muslims to defend themselves. To this day, not a week goes by that Islamic
fundamentalists do not attempt to kill Christians, Jews, Hindus and Buddhists
explicitly in the name of Allah. None of these other religions are at war with each other.

#7 Islam is the only religion that has to retain its membership by threatening to kill anyone who leaves. This is according to the example set by Muhammad.

#8 Islam teaches that non-Muslims are less than fully human. Muhammad said that Muslims can be put to death for murder, but that a Muslim could never be put to death for killing a non-
Muslim.

#9 The Qur’an never once speaks of Allah’s love for non-Muslims, but it speaks of Allah’s cruelty toward and hatred of non-Muslims more than 500 times.

#10 “Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!” (The last words from the cockpit ofFlight 93)

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