It is 8 a.m. on Monday morning.

Puting the key into the key-hole of my church office door, I heard a voice behind me, ‘Good morning, Pastor’.

I had now become accustomed to that voice. It was Tola , a committed member of our church.She has just finished her weekend calls.She looks scared, tired and exhausted.

‘What could be wrong again’, I asked myself.

A senior resident with the department of Obstetrics and Gyneacology in the University Teaching Hospital, she had already told me earlier that she will be on call that weekend,so I was not surprised when I did not see her in church the sunday before. But hearing her voice that morning did nothing but surprised me because she was the last person that I expected to see in my counselling session of that day.

Turning around and sighting her, I responded with a smile,’Sister Tola, Good morning’.’Come in’.

Tola has a always been ambitious since she finished high school. Even though she went to school in a rural area, where there were no qualified teachers, except some couple of youth corp members which the government sends to the school, she made up her mind that that will not be a hinderance for her to becoming a doctor. At the age of 21, she had completed her housemanship. And that was when I knew her. Despite her busy schedule as a young doctor, she always came to church.

She lost her mother at the age of eight to complications of child birth and that made her determined that she was going to be a doctor that will help women. Tola was the first child in a polygamous family and despite the hatred and hardship experiences of her childhood , she did well in school.

‘Pastor am scared of going home’, she sobbed as she sat down in the sofa in my office. ‘I don’t feel secured with him any longer’, referring to her husband.

Still crying,’He has turned to a beast’,she said.’He beats me at every slightest provocation. I love him but I am afraid he might kill me.’

She had met this young man 4 years earlier in the church, rich and also committed. Tope was the dream man every lady would desire. An engineer, working in one of the high paying multinational oil companies in town. No one would have envisaged that the once caring and loving gentle man would change for whatever reason some few years into their marriage.

He keeps telling me that he regrets marrying me. ‘You are a man and I can’t continue living with you in this house.’ ‘ It is better you go, so that a real woman can come in and give me a baby.’

They have been married now for over four years and Tola has never conceived for once.

‘Pastor, what do I do?’ She asked.

Let us pray for God’s direction’ , I said. Apparently not satisfied with my response, she bowed her head however.

After the prayers, I wanted to console her and tell her to be strong and keep believing God for a miracle but it was glaring from Tola’s look that she was tired of hearing that from me. I have always been encouraging her to keep trusting God in our numerous counselling session.

Initially when the pressure started mounting on them, we had gone through the various medical options available to them during the counselling sessions with the couple . Tola had always cooperated but Tope had always insisted that there was nothing wrong with him. He claimed he once impregnated a girl when he was in his final year in university.

‘Where is the child,then?’ I asked.

‘The girl terminated the pregnancy because we were both not ready to be parents then.’ He said.

Tope had gone through all sorts of medical investigations ranging from from hormone assays to hysterosalpingram etc and none of it showed any abnormality. Even though all indicators point to Tope as the culprit in this problem, he remains the bully and the uncooperative one .

What do you think Tola should do? Should she leave Tope and start a new life with another man or should she continue to endue the abuse?

Send your response to and save a soul.




This article is not meant to defend christianity or prove the superiority of christianity over other religions (even though I am convinced that it is). It is rather meant to encourage christians who are almost giving up the race due to the difficulties and challenges they are passing through and they, having the thought that God- their maker, is not caring and mindful of them any more; and for non-christians to prove the authenticity of the fact that the christian God is a God of Love who wants to have a relationship with them.


Christianity is much more than a religion, as most of us think of it today. It is a relationship with the Divinity. The nub of any relationship is communication. Communication is usually bi-directional. In christianity, Divinity has a communion and communication with humanity. In His love He speaks- instructs, commands, advises, among other things; the Christian responds by obeying and speaking back(praying) to God. Divinity created and owns the heavens and the earth and all that is within it. He has however put it under the control of humanity, you and I because of the love for us. 2 Peter 1:3 and 4… As his divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and Godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be divine partakers of the divine nature… However, the elements will only respond to the divine nature in us when our obedience to the Divine (God) is complete. Little wonder then that some people think that it is not worth it being a christian having encountered a lot of problem and challenges and they have prayed and done many other spiritual exercises, yet it seems like the elements in conformation to God’s word, is not responding to them.


God loves us all and He speaks to us in diverse ways but most times not in the way you expect and when he does, you will know that it is God that is speaking. Humanity, however has the problem of doubting Divinity’s voice because the message came through the avenue which they least expect, even when they know it is God. They often want confirmation.(See Gideon, Moses etc) But you may not always hear it in the manner in which you expect it.(Jesus said,’My sheep hear my voice’)


Whatever way you receive the instruction, please obey, for there- in lies your blessing and thus you will be saved from the stress of unaswered prayers and life of frustration with you thinking that God does not care. God will only make all things ( including your finances, health ,academics business, family etc)to obey you only when your own obedience is perfected.             


Paul, in a letter he wrote to the Corinthian Church, described the nature and potency of the armoury of the Christian. It is not fleshly but powerful to pull down any stronghold of whatever kind and bring it to the obedience of Christ. However, you can only punish any disobedience when your own obedience is complete. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6. If, for any reason, anything has not been compliant,checkout your response to Divinity’s word.God is not moved by our spiritual jingoism. Obedience is the key to enjoying Divinity’s best for humanity.